SHEPHERDING THE HEART, from SHEPHERDING A CHILD’S HEART, by Ted Tripp
- Your children are the product of 2 things: physical makeup and life experience, and Godward orientation. Parenting involves providing the best shaping influences you can and careful shepherding of your children’s responses to those influences.
- The heart determines behavior. Learn, therefore, to work back from behavior to the heart. Expose heart struggles. Help your children see that they were made for a relationship with God. The thirst of the heart can be satisfied in truly knowing God.
- You have authority because God has made you His agent. This means you are on His errand, not yours. Your task is to help your children know God and the true nature of reality (including the state of their own heart). This will enable them to know themselves.
- Since the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, you must set such a worldview before your children. You must help them learn that only in Him will they find themselves.
- Biblical goals must be accomplished through biblical methods. Therefore, you must reject the substitute methods that our culture presents.
- God has given two methods for childrearing. They are communication and the rod. These methods must be woven together in your practice. Your children need to be known and understood. Thus, rich communication is necessary. They also need authority and firmness. Thus, the rod is necessary. The rod functions to underscore the importance of the things you talk with them about.
TEN CRUCIAL LESSONS EVERY FATHER SHOULD TEACH, from BRAVE DADS, by John MacArthur
- Teach your children to fear God. (Prov 1:7)
- Teach your children to guard their minds. (Prov 3:3-4)
- Teach your children to obey their parents. (Prov 4:10-11)
- Teach your children to select their companions carefully. (I Cor 15:33)
- Teach your children to control their body. (Prov 2:16-17)
- Teach your children to enjoy their spouse. (Prov 5:15-19)
- Teach your children to watcdh their words. (Prov 4:24)
- Teach your children to work hard. (Prov 6:6-8)
- Teach your children to manage their money well. (Prov 3:9-10)
- Teach your children to love their neighbor. (Prov 3:27-28)
AND THEN I HAD KIDS, by Susan Yates
PRINCIPLES OF GODLY DISCIPLINE
- Your child must never doubt your love.
- Distinguish between willful disobedience and childish behavior/mistakes.
- Always take time to explain and to prepare children to walk the right way (anticipation of events and expected behaviors)
- Train in self discipline and teach obedience so the child learns ultimately to obey God.
- Discuss any conflicts in parenting with each other in private and come up with a unified plan.
- Concentrate on one or two expectations or values at a time. Have a private time with your spouse and discuss what you think is most needed in each child.
- Establish consequences and always follow through, even if it means leaving a public place or missing out on an adult activity.
- Use preventative measures when possible: routine, diversion, and anticipation of the desired behavior
- Distinguish between critical issues and secondary issues. (i.e. what clothes they wear, etc.)
What we desire is balance. Our homes should be places where “yes” is most frequently heard, where expected behavior is understood and enforced. The parents should be in control and thus respected by their children. The home will then be characterized by love, joy, and controlled chaos.Mantaining balance involves recognizing the extremes and seeking to implement a consistent strategy of love and discipline.
Allow for failure, both you and your children! Be ready to ask forgiveness. Make sure children realize that failure is a part of life and they can recover from it. As they grow up, let them see how you handle disappointments more intimately.
Above all, make the Gospel attractive in your home. Teach children “as you go” in every aspect of life that they have a heavently Father who loves them and is ready to forgive.